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This dog looks at me funny. I can smell some stale accusation in the look. I have a feeling that it is accusing me of some dog-world mischief. Why else would it look at me that way? But how do I even forge a defence when I don't know how the dog-world legal system works?
I could be wrong, but I think the look has something to do with the dog's food. I swear I have seen glimpses of the look every time I set the dog's plate.
At the back of my mind, I think the dog wants to talk, and I dread how the conversation would go. There is something about the dog that tells me that it would be savage; no mercy. I can picture it.
Dog: What's up with this thing you are feeding me?
Me: I don't understand; what do you mean?
Dog: For the past three months you have been feeding me this ... what do you call it?
Me: Food
Dog: Yeah, if you can call it that. What is the name of the dish?
Me: I don't know. Dog food?
Dog: Oh, I see. So you throw anything at me that says 'dog'.
Me: Is there a problem with the food?
Dog: hmm! Have you tried it?
Me: Dog food? Why would I try dog food?
Dog. Don't change the subject.
Me: Ok, no. I haven't tried it.
Dog: Figures!
At that point I am silent. I have no comeback.
If dogs could smile, this one would be beaming.
I believe that somewhere in the secrecy of its fur there is a big smile.
Dog: So, what are you saying?
Me: About what?
Dog: The food! The food. (adds something at the end that might have been a swear word).
Me: Ok, so the food might not be the best quality out there...
Dog: (interrupting me) Let's leave 'best' out of this conversation.
Me: As I was saying, there's room for improvement...
Dog: (interrupting me again) More like a house!
Me: (ignoring the snide remark) Anyway, it's been a bit tight lately. You know how much they are paying me at that place.
Dog: That place? How much?
Me: P10000.00
Dog: A year?
Me: No, a month.
Dog: Whoa! That's a big number; and you feed me this?
Me: (irritated) Are you out of your mind! This is peanuts. These guys are underpaying me.
Dog: Oh sorry. How long have you been with them?
Me: Six years.
Dog: While they are underpaying you?
Me: Yes.
Dog: (almost inaudible) That's odd
Me: Huh?
Dog: If P10000.00 is underpaying, how much are you worth?
Me: At least P15000.00
Dog: Really?! Where?
Me: What do you mean where? I can go anywhere.
Dog: So why don't you?
Me: What do you mean?
Dog: If there is a queue of employers out there ready to pay you P15000.00 a month, why are you sticking with the underpayers? That's the correct term, 'underpayers'?
Me: ...
Dog: What! You didn't hear the question?
Me: ....
I swear, I am going to sell this dog.
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